It's time someone said it publicly... although our Persian culture has many beautiful elements to it, it also has some ugly ones. One in particular, that has been bugging me a lot this week is our tendency to berate others for doing well, or even trying...
...This doesn't apply to all Persians, but overall it is a fairly general problem. When someone else does something good, instead of being inspired ourselves or grateful, we criticize it in order to make ourselves feel better for not having done it ourselves. I wish I had a dollar for every instance when a Persian friend said "if I had done that I would have..." Well, the fact is you didn't! You could have but you didn't. What I'm talking about is different than constructive criticism with a genuine desire to help the other person be even better. What I'm talking about is a sinister, insecure way of bringing other people down so you can feel like you're rising up yourself. You're not. You're just belittling yourself.
Want examples? This past weekend the Network of Iranian Professionals of Orange County (NIPOC) hosted their 11th annual Mehregan festival. It was a huge festival with over 20K attendees, too many booths, performances, cultural, educational and entertainment programs to count, food, children's activities, etc. I was blown away by the commraderie and cultural pride, not to mention how much pure fun the festival was. But I overheard a good number of people complaining about it being "boring" or even a "waste of time"!!! Are you kidding me? If you don't like it. Go home. Why sit there enjoying your corn on the cob and kabob, and complain!? Urgh!
The formula for happiness is simple. Live well. Let others do their thing. Don't judge. Join in. Have fun. And for God's sake, get over yourself!!! No one, including me, is all that special. Just live and let live.
Phew... thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Now pass the kabob...
Behzad,
Publisher, Namak magazine