I got out everything I thought I would need. Battery operated foot massager ( added Dove liquid soap ) set aside the black buffy thing ( whatever), the nail brush and I added a little lemon and vanilla oil to the water.  That part went very well the warm water bubbling over my feet helped to relax me considerably. Phase two in operation crusty toes was soon on the way. I have a bag of nail polish that I never use, rifling through them I came across two colors that I liked a lot Pinkly Smoothly and Soft Beige. I opted for Soft Beige. I polished all 10 toes without incident then the phone rang and as I got up to answer I smudged my big toe against the chair.  Ok I'm alright. I use a cotton ball removed the mess and added another coat to the nail. While I waited for that coat to set to add another I neglected to take care as to where I put the acetone soaked cotton ball and it had skivved across the top of my toes on my left foot. Smudged polish every where. By this time there was this weird tickling in my stomach that signaled that I was getting frustrated.  I started all over again. Two minutes later all little piggies were freashly painted and looking fine. Then the bell rang. "Who is it?"  I yelled.  "UPS" he yelled back.  SHIT!.  I had a decision to make go to the door with just a tank and panties on or pull on the skirt laying on my bed. He rang the bell  again this time more insisitently. I'm assuming he was in a hurry and since I was in my baggy drawers I decided to pull on the skirt. I went to the door and after rolling his eyes at me let me sign for my package. I went back to my pampering.  I looked down at my feet and gasped. Every last one of my toes were smashed some completly rubbed off. I wanted to cry I was so frustrated.  I decided that come hell or high water I wasn't moving for the next 30 minutes I didn't care what happened. I repainted the piggies and as I sat there I sang along to Brian with zest, lustily at the top of my voice. I tested my toes at minute 35 and they were completely dried.  Now it was time for the piece -de resistance the white line. I always have one thing done to my fingers/toes and that is the french manicure, Its simple no fuss no muss, right? I mean how hard can it be to draw on a straight white line across a seeminly small space?  Well let me  tell you its very hard. In fact after three tries I thought I had Parkinson's disease and I was going blind in my right eye. I only got 1 toe done and that line was crooked.  I was so frustrated I literally closed my eyes fell asleep and woke up hours laters in a pool of sweat with one leg tilted so it wouldn't smudge.  There was a quarter stuck to my face so there is now a huge circle under my right eye and my house keys are permanently embededd in my side. So this blog is to all my little Korean friends who I'm normally mean and cheap to. You  have earned my respect and a bigger tip.