The phone rang and I answered thinking it was someone else. With a huge grin on my face I pulled into my parking space and the first words out of my mouth were " hi baby". It wasn’t baby it was you and you became excited I called you baby. I tried to be nice about it but decided to be honest "I didn’t realized it was you" I politely said "I thought it was someone else".
Your disappointment came across loud and clear yet you did what you do best you ignored the blatant slight. You talked but I heard nothing, taking care not to run my pantyhose I stepped out of my car. Then it hit me, an ocean of discomfort suddenly splashed over me, I knew you were there before I even saw you. The parking lot was nearly empty there were no other cars, well maybe one or two but I knew you were there. I've never felt this creepy, being watched is creepy. I walk to the entrance of the building and due to something out of my control I had to wait for security to let me in. You were still talking ending a conversation with you was impossible because you won't ever shut-up. I don’t care about your new job, new car, new girl ( why are you here then ?) new anything but you kept right on talking. Then you were there standing right next to me. Killing me with the scent of your cologne, cologne I felt cover not just a hint of madness. Security came and we walked into the building together. I didn’t know what to say. You wanted breakfast I wanted nothing. You would not take no for an answer, so I made a deal with you. I'll drop my things off and meet you in the cafeteria. For a chat, how 'bout that? Your lips slump because you wanted to go out for breakfast. My right eyebrow raised, the offer was about to be rescinded. You quickly accepted. I needed a sign so before I went downstairs I logged into my computer and after a few minutes I got my sign. My sign was not for courage, or for strength I just wanted to see what I needed to see and I saw it. My heels clicked as I made my way over to your table and for the 100th time I wondered what I ever saw in you. Me who so usually has this gift to see past the physical must have been smoking the day I allowed this person into my life...so without delay I told him what he needed to hear while looking into my eyes. He needed to see that I meant the words he was hearing and I guess my voice is a little to magical over the phone. I make everything sound good. You are not for me. ( Your chewing slowed) I never was. ( You swallow a sip of juice) I want to be your friend. (You slammed down your fork) I waited for you to tell me what a bitch I was or am or will always be but you didn’t. We sat in silence for a few minutes but I was anxious I had to go. I wanted to go badly. You stare at me and I couldn’t look away because if I did you would think I was playing coy. Then you asked me the question I couldn’t answer " Tam what was it about me that you couldn’t love?" How could I answer that? How does one know? I couldn’t say anything, what could I say? So I sighed deeply and shrugged. I reminded you of the time and you asked another question " Do you love someone else?" My internal reaction surprised me I wanted to scream at you, slap your yellow face until the imprint of my ring was apparent, I wanted to hurt you. How dare you ask me such an intimate question when you and I were never intimate.? How dare you attempt to see into my soul and the one that I hold so dear to my heart...? Who do you think you are that you deserved to know anything about me, he, him, mine. On the outside I was calm. I stood and fixed my skirt. I smiled the most benign smile I could muster up and nodded that there was. Then I spoke these words to him to the universe "I've found my match yes I've found my husband." It has to be allowed because there is true love present. I walk away with a real smile and as I past the threshold I could feel your pervy little eyes on my ass.
I spoke to you this morning, its been a while but you were confident with your words.