What are the characteristics of a man, not a “Good Man”, but a man? I remember hearing about it back in the day or when I would watch those old western movies. They would say that a man has a firm handshake, looks another man in the eyes, is honest, dependable, and keeps his word, (you know that old saying a man of his word.) I think there are a few more general traits that a man should possess, but for the most part the ones I listed are a good foundation to build on. But one trait that I don’t remember being taught or hearing about is that a man cheats. If a man cheats on his girlfriend or wife, that it is ok, because that is just a man being a man. Or, “oh he cheated on you, what did you expect, that is what men do.” By definition the word cheat means to violate rules dishonestly or to practice fraud or trickery. Know I don’t claim to be the smartest man in the world but how can a man be honest and keep his word and be dishonest and practice fraud and trickery.

            I was watching this show a few months ago on BET. It was that show that Dr. Ian would host on Sunday, I can’t remember the name of it, but they were discussing relationships. And one of the panel members, a well educated and respected guy in his chosen profession. But something he said, I don’t want to say surprised me but was very interesting. He said that if he was caught cheating on his wife. He expected her to accept it, forgive him, and take him back. But if she cheated on him, he would leave her in instant. When asked why, he said it is because he is a man and that is just the way it is. SERIOUSLY. I get that there is a gender bias in this world, I get it, I’m not naïve, but come on people.

            I refuse to believe and/or accept that cheating is the behavior of a man. The idea that a man can’t control himself is ridiculous. What kind of man sneaks around some one’s back, or says one thing and does the opposite. For those of you who don’t know, or are just misinformed, having a penis doesn’t make you a man. It means you are a male.

            Before I get jumped on by the fellas, let me make something clear. I’m not writing this to be on some type of man bashing kick, or to come off as the sensitive brotha to try and get in good with the ladies. But if it does I won’t be mad…. I kid, I kid, sorry couldn’t help myself. Seriously though, I’m writing this because this is something I feel strongly about and something needed to be said. I know nobody is perfect. Nobody will ever be perfect and that people make mistakes. But when did the mistake of cheating become normal behavior.

            There might be a few of you out there that are not feeling what I’m saying, but try and look at it this way. Your Mother, Sister, Aunt, Cousin, or close Female friend gets cheated on. Is that guy a Man in your eyes? And if so, do you really want to be grouped with someone who would hurt someone you love?

Ladies, just a side note. The more you accept this behavior the more it will continue. Now I’m not saying if a dude slips up once you should be done with him, because every situation is different and we do sometimes step outside of our selves. But to dismiss it as a man being a man or to keep going back to that dude who continues cheating on you, is not going to change things for the better.

And before I go I just have to put this out there for both men and women. It never “JUST HAPPENS.” So it just so happens that you both were walking, are naked, or with no pants on for those who like to Porky Pig it, (think about it) and you just happen to both be aroused, and just happen to be on the bed, floor, in a car, I think you see where I’m going with that. And some how you just entered her or you fell on his, and before you knew it that magic happened. Hate to break it to you but that is not how it happens. You made a decision to do what you did, own up to it. Because you can’t be seduced if you don’t want to be, at anytime you can leave before things start down that road. But if you are being held against your will that is called rape and a topic I’ll address on another day.

Like I said before, this is just my opinion, if you agree or disagree I would love to hear your take, and welcome the conversation.