When I was in Laws school, in one of the classes of ethics we studied about a great one, Friedrick Nietzsche, he said: "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”... I think the basis of any human relationship is the confidence and the easiest way to lose it is lying... after that, it takes a lot of work to recover it... it's not impossible, but not in a 100%... you'll always live with the remember and with the doubt...

I believe that trust evolves from a deeper sense of love- selfless love that is. Forgiveness is remembering the love we have for the other person and letting go of the idea and expectations that we have of them. God is all loving, all trusting, all forgiving. So, to be fully human and to shine HIS light, we must practice HIS attributes. I know that it's much easier said than done. I often suffer and struggle myself, trying to let go, to forgive, and to trust wholeheartedly, and I often fail. ...It is a conscious practice, just like anything else in life. And being consistent with that practice is even harder...Yet the reward is being ONE with God, and worth all the effort.

Thank you my sweet sister for another thought-provoking blog.

Love,

Kia

KIA...TY! Love is selfless. Love is God! Yes, Love is letting go of expectations...

So if the two involved really loved each other...then forgiveness should be no problem? Oh my...sounds easier said than done. How would him/her  really let go of the heaviness inside and gain that trust again?  Isn't it soo true that as human beings we do things sometimes and think nothing of it...when the partner sees everything  of it and has  the hardest time letting go of it? Isn't it part of what makes us human and men and women? Could insecurity be a part of all this...even past experiences?

Val...let's say the love is there but trust was violated by a gut feeling that led to lies caught?
 
You know Val, you mentioned something very important..."Does the other person love you enough to give themselves wholly to the relationship?" I guess if there is a strong enough love  from both partners stemming from loving oneself first and foremost, there could be hope?
Still pondering...


Love is strong yet delicate...
It can be broken...
To truly love is to understand this...
To be in love is to respect this.

I know something...I LOVE YOU BOTH!

Thank you Cretura!!

This is sooo true. In our lives, we're all guilty of lying  to some degree at one time or another but it becomes a huge problem when it's a calculated lie that could really affect the other partner. The lies in question are not based on infidelity. Let's just say it was based on credibility of a possible infidelity stemmed from lies...makes sense?

*Thinking out aloud*...
In the beginning of any relationship everything is pretty much easy because there are no HEAVINESS and one's trust is pretty much initially there. Emotions are not too tangled at this point. As the relationship gets deeper and more involved and emotions are stronger, we become a little more sensitive to that person...RIGHT Here is where more work is needed to keep the TRUST, YES? Heaviness comes from mistrust and lies so I guess both partners need to be going in the same direction and feeling the same way about each other, RIGHT?

We are all humans and yes, we make mistakes...As long as we learn from them and not  repeat them and as long as the mistakes we made in the relationship was not based on selfish reasons...then I guess FORGIVENESS should be given, RIGHT?...But how do you change the partner's perception of a deception? Is deception ever justifiable?

Mistrust brings arguements and bad energy and no one deserves to be subjected to that. If ONE partner just keeps dwelling and hanging on to these negative emotions, it's time to move on...YES? We can't change the past but we SURELY can make a difference in the future and learn from it. What we CAN'T do though is think and react for the other person...

...WE CONTROL OUR "OWN" EMOTIONS...OUR "OWN" LIVES.


I guess you are saying...once you trust yourself, you trust your own judgements and actions and make conscious decisions of what you "will" tolerate or "not" tolerate. I REALLY LIKE THAT! We choose the energies we want in our lives and when it doesn't feel right, we just simply let it go!

THANKS FOR YOUR WISDOM CRETURA!

KIA...YOU WERE RIGHT! IT STARTS WITH...
..."SELF LOVE"!...

This is my favorite blog! It reminds us of what is in our hearts and what we need to work on...

I love you all

BLACK...You are such a wise man!
This is what I mean when I say "there are soo many factors to the word TRUST. After SELF-LOVE you  receive  LOVE...and SELF-LOVE is not selfish...it's rather UNSELFISH, agreed? Because when you love yourself first, you open up yourself to great energies...YOU GIVE LOVE FREELY AND YOU RECEIVE LOVE FREELY, yes?

"TRUST FROM ACTUALITY AND NOT ASSUMPTION"?... YES, I like that! This is why i asked if MISTRUST can come simply from past experiences. So when someone says a WHITE LIE it can easily escalate to MISTRUST which can cause a downward spiral in a relationship, are we agreeing?

Isn't it a constant battle to NOT let past experiences influence negatively your present and future relationships? It is what i is or was but we must learn positively from it, yes?

I agree, living in the present moment in a relationship is good. It's exactly as I said...WE SHOULD HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS IN A RELATIONSHIP,  YES?

Thank you Black! it's nice...and helpful to hear a man's perspective. I appreciate it!
This blog is really making me reflect!
Thanks to all of you for your wisdom!