In life there are always times when we are affected by the actions of another person. When this happens sometimes we receive an apology. More often than not we say, “It’s alright,” or “ It’s okay,” and by saying this we are allowing, accepting, and giving permission for the behavior to happen again. When we say “thank you,” or “I accept your apology,” we are forced to sit in our feelings rather than ignore them.
I felt that it was easier to brush off how I really felt than to express my discomfort with something that has happened to me. I also felt that by brushing it off I gave the person a second chance, so next time he/she would be more considerate of my feelings. While this may initially seem like the best thing to do, what it really did was put me into an unending pattern of behavior; since I was not honest with this other person, I continued the cycle of letting him/her overstep on my emotional limits time and time again. By doing this I placed myself in the position of victim.
I decided to put an end to this chain by first acknowledging to the other person that I accept their request for forgiveness; often a simple “thank you” was enough. But to truly create a greater sense of harmony in whatever relationship however, I need to gently, and with compassion, express my innermost feelings about what has transpired. By taking a deep breath I can usually find the right words to say and verbalize them in a way that lets the other person recognize the consequence of what he/she has done to me.
My response to others is important; I realize that trust and forgiveness go hand in hand. And when I react in a way that engenders a greater amount of honesty and candour, I can establish a more positive and empowering way of being and interacting others.
Of course all this is my personal opinion and it's been only lately that I decided to act on it; I would really like to get feed back from all of you my friends J