“I think I have more friends than enemies here, and I appreciate Orange County and Newport Beach for giving me the opportunity to express my individuality.”
- Dennis Rodman


I had only been in my new job at my new firm as a sports attorney for exactly one month and was overwhelmed with all the new clients and issues that I was responsible for.  I had been working so much in the past month, usually leaving the office around 10pm every night, and I had not been out once.  So I said, "tonight I will cut out at 5:30 and go to this fundraiser."  In retrospect, it may have been one of the best decisions I have made to date.  As I left the office I felt guilty because there was so much work to do, but as I stepped outside into the cool evening air with the sun still shining I quickly lost all feelings of guilt.

I jumped into my car, eager and in a hurry, because like I said, I had not done anything social in a month and was feeling a bit caged up.  I raced down PCH and pulled into Josh Slocum's parking lot.  I was one of the first arrivals, but no matter, there were people and the bar was open.  I ended up in a back secluded corner talking with five lawyers from the area for the next hour or so having the same old "what do you do conversations."  At some point, I either became bored with the conversation or eager to fill my rocks glass with something other than air.  So I excused myself and began to make my way back into the main room, which required you to ascend three steps up into the main dining area and dance floor. 

The place was packed now, wall to wall people.  I was even more excited now because there were women everywhere, (I suppose there may have been some men too).  I scanned the room taking precise notes on all those present, "cute", "a little too slutty", "nice butt", and then she came directly into my view.  What a vision!  She had an aura all about her, you know kind of a glow!  Now this could have been the crown royal, but I was still trying to get to my second glass, so I've ruled that one out a long time ago.  She was absolutely beautiful and had a genuine air of class about her.  And you want to know the best part, she was staring back at me!

So after we both stared at one another for a few more seconds, I eyeballed Dennis and Floyd sitting in a private booth about 15 feet directly behind the beautiful mystery woman.  I put my plan in place, I was going to go over there and say hello to my friends, and if she stood still long enough we would have to cross paths.  So I started through the crowd, adjusting my course as I weaved in and out to make sure I would bump into this glamour girl.  I took my eyes off of her for one second as Dennis and Floyd saw me coming and started to motion for me to continue their way.  And boom, I bumped into someone quite literally... I looked down and there she was about six inches away and looking a little bit annoyed at the dude who had just bumped into her.  Being a tad bit in shock I thought for a second and said without thinking, "Hello, would you like to hear my philosophy on life?"  She smiled a coy smile and said, "Sure, let me hear it."  Now I was stuck, what can I say to impress such a classy lady, such a beautiful women...she's staring at me waiting for a response, people are moving and pushing on all sides, say something, make your move, "The world is all about penises and pussys", I said?  Did that really come out?  Oh no!  Well hear comes the old school 'pimp slap'  I thought in an instant, what had I done.  "I agree", she stated, as if I had just said the DOW went up six points today.  "I would not say it so crudely, but I agree.  And if you're trying to shock me you will never suceed."  Smiles inside and out, butterflys, I did not get slapped, she is still here, and actually engaging me in conversation, success!  "Can I buy you a drink?", I offered.  And she said yes.

So, if you are not paying attention, or just not good with the mathematics, today is exactly the six year Anniversary of our meeting on that Wedneday, July 25th evening in 2001.  We have been inseperable and engaged in mutual growth and exploration since that very day...  This is the incomplete first chapter of how Ms. Kaynaz Nikookary became the Center of My Universe.  Stay tuned, there is more to come...