Then on came the costume. By this point - it was half-hour. So all the other actors are arriving. But I'm done. So I would put on the finishing touches and then go out into the backstage area - quiet, shadowy, blue-lit, deserted - and sit in a chair that I had put back there. I could hear the audience start to come in out in the theatre. But this was my quiet meditative time. The sound of the audience was part of that. Gettin' ready for show time now. Okay so now we MUST bring Kyle back in because he was such a big part of this blue-lit backstage time. It was his quiet time as well - he had nothing to do. All glow tape had been placed. All door hinges had been oiled.

And now is when I really wish I had my own personal scanner because I could show you the two costumes so you could get the idea. My first costume was: a skintight champagne colored dress. It was zippered up the back and it was made of a thick almost upholster-y fabric. Very early 1960s. It was gorgeous. I had on little white kid gloves. I had on pumps. I also had on a head scarf over my bouffant-ish hairdo. There was jewelry involved. I wore cat-eyed sunglasses. It was a perfect outfit. Based on a couple of different Marilyn Monroe stills taken by Sam Shaw. (This one gives you some idea of what I was going for.) I gave that image and a couple others to the costume shop - and they executed my version of it brilliantly. It's one of my most favorite costumes I have ever worn. I don't mind saying that I looked perfect - and by that I mean: exactly what I dreamed.

I don't want to make this into some big build-up. Because the moment I am moving towards probably lasted less than a second - maybe a second - if that. But if you're going to have a situational crush, if you're going to decide to focus your 10 minutes of free time a day on some random person - then it might as well end up in a moment of utter perfection. A moment of, dare I say it, art. I have always made my love affairs into art. Maybe it's just a matter of perception. How I see things. Like Meryl Streep's character in Postcards says, "I want life to be art." So do I. And you know what? More often than not, it is. It's just how I see it. Sometimes it is an unbearable burden. Because then every random guy I meet  becomes a piece of art. But I can't help it. That's how I see it. That's how I make my way through the maze.

I didn't know such a thing existed. Don't read this story looking for a big finish. There is no big finish. There is merely a split-second of utter perfection, and that is what I want to describe. I had what I call a "situational crush" on Kyle. I do that sometimes, if I'm bored and need to liven up my daily routine a bit. I'll create a random crush on, oh, the guy who gives me my coffee every morning. So I can look forward to seeing him, have a flirty-flirt, and go on with my day unscathed. It breaks up the routine.